RELATIONSHIPS · Inner Visions Resource
The Connection Check-In: 10 Questions Every Couple Should Discuss
By Choya Johnson, MPLC · Why Not Live Your Best Life?
Connection does not happen simply because two people love each other.
Healthy connection requires curiosity, communication, honesty, listening, and a willingness to understand one another beyond the issue being discussed.
Use this exercise as a conversation—not an argument.
Set aside uninterrupted time. One person answers while the other listens.
Try not to interrupt, defend, correct, or prepare your response while your partner is speaking.
Then switch.
The goal is not to determine who is right.
The goal is to understand each other more clearly.
Reflection Questions
1. When do you feel most connected to me?
2. When do you feel most disconnected from me?
3. What do you need more of from me emotionally?
4. What do you believe I need more of from you?
5. What conflict or disagreement do we seem to keep repeating?
6. What hurt have we acknowledged but may not have fully repaired?
7. What makes you feel appreciated by me?
8. What makes difficult conversations between us feel unsafe or unproductive?
9. What would greater emotional or physical intimacy look like for you?
10. What is one thing we could both do differently over the next 30 days to strengthen our connection?
FINAL REFLECTION
My Connection Commitment
One thing I will do differently:
One thing I would like us to do together:
Connection doesn't require perfection. It requires participation.
Keep choosing connection—one honest conversation at a time.
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